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[Oct. 28th, 2010|12:41 pm] |
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Three years in three days. |
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[Sep. 21st, 2010|06:19 pm] |
Private to self
I dropped a whole caseload of files when I read that Dillon had become a vampire. I mean, I don't know the dude too well but we used to hang out sometimes. I got along real well with him - he liked Disney movies and baking and stuff that I like. He works, or er, worked with my boyfriend. Basically, cool kid.
I can't imagine anyone wanting to be a vampire. Well, scratch that, I guess he did it for Herrick and I understand that kind of motive. If my only chance to spend my life with Shiloh lay in becoming one of them, maybe it wouldn't be such a god no kind of reaction. Still, the idea of willingly becoming a vampire kind of makes something rise up in my stomach. They have lifespans a lot longer than ours, that's for sure, but what do they really have? He's going to have to subsist on blood for the rest of his life. He's undoubtedly going to hurt someone and in essence has become one of those who oppress us. That...sucks. I don't think all vampires are evil, no, but Jesus, that's scary.
Makes me kind of want to cuddle something and cry about the madness in the world, if I'm honest. Where's Shiloh?
end privacy.
Private to Kara
Hey. How are you doing?
end privacy.
Does one ever stop being surprised in Shadow Falls? |
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[Sep. 19th, 2010|07:03 pm] |
Funniest thing - a woman came into Hooves and Paws, wanting to get her cat neutered. With all the strays in Shadow Falls, this is a good thing, right? Well, I took the cat back to the doctor and as I was holding him, I found there was a lack of a certain part of the male anatomy. Um. Yeah. The woman had been living with the cat for over two years and never realized she was female.
Typical vet story, but I was amused.
Anyway, aside from cats without testicles, I've had a very boring couple of weeks. Actually, pleasantly boring. I think in Shadow Falls boring is where it's at, yeah?
What have I missed in my self imposed reclusive hideout? |
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[Sep. 5th, 2010|03:49 pm] |
I bought a baby blanket today. Just another thing in the huge batch I'll be sending your way Kara.
It had the words, "smile, always smile!" embroidered on the side.
I want this kid to always know the positive.
Humans
Have you ever tried/succeeded/failed to keep someone from coming here?
I obviously failed when it came to Shiloh not coming here, which was something I never wanted, but I'm eternally grateful he is. Now my cousins keep pestering me and I'm scared senseless that they'll show. Especially my oldest, as he has a baby on the way and everything. I don't want him and his family...to get trapped.
Shiloh
You doing okay man? I feel like I'm living with a ghost.
You wanna...go on a date or something? good and proper? |
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[Aug. 29th, 2010|05:02 pm] |
Things have been a little bit crazy lately. I've been worrying about the people I love almost obsessively, and I'm trying not to make myself sick in the process.
Kara, I bought a few things I'll be sending your way soon. I could not resist. I'm worse than most moms I think, with this daddy thing. There's just so much I want to do for this baby and I don't even know them. It's overwhelming.
I got an email from my oldest cousin. He still wants to know where I'm at. It's...really driving me crazy honestly. Shadow Falls, you knew that you'd make the people who cared about us come too. First Shiloh...if I draw Damien or Jason here, I'm going to go crazy. It's not fair. Especially D, he's got a kid and all.
Other than obsessive-compulsive disorder, I've been hiding out a bit.
Anyone want to socialize with a psychopath?
Please? |
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[Aug. 20th, 2010|02:01 pm] |
My mind has been so busy lately. Baby, work, boyfriend, life.
I can't believe I lost track of the days.
Shiloh.
Please, just get someone to claim you, like now. Your boss, or...like...my boss, or like someone. I have no freaking clue but I'm panicking here. |
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[Aug. 13th, 2010|11:34 am] |
Things have been pleasantly quiet. I like that. It seems like any calm is the calm before the storm in this town though, which can be unnerving more than relaxing.
I've really come to terms with the baby thing now. I'm actually very excited now. I find myself passing the shopping center on the way home and positively gaping at all the different kinds of baby things out there.
It's a good time.
Kara
Kara, you may have to tell me what you need so I can get a clue on what to get. I'm still a total guy about this, but I've been doing a lot of reading and studying and stuff. Are you taking all your vitamins and stuff? Yes, I'm going to be a hovery daddy, if you don't mind. Gotta make sure you guys are okay. Can we meet this weekend? I'm going to rangle both you and Shiloh in if it kills me :P
Shiloh
How are you doing? You've been quiet. Do you wanna meet me and Kara this weekend? Maybe tomorrow or Sunday. |
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[Aug. 2nd, 2010|08:28 pm] |
Private.
Stupid fangs.
I'm sorry. I'm trying to learn to respect all people - vampire or human but I can't not be glad that Nero creep is dead. He decided to hunt down a random human and kill for sport.
If Lilith hadn't saved my life, he would have done it.
I know he kept humans as slaves in cages like animals too.
There is no forgiving that kind of person and let's be honest - I don't give a fuck that he died. I hope he's rotting in hell. If you loved him and knew what he did then you can go to hell too.
It's harsh - and not something I'd say before I knew this kind of horror - but now that I live in this town I know true horror. I know what kind of people can exist.
Okay, calming down.
Man I think I need to take anxiety meds again like I did as a teenager.
I saw Kara today.
It made me surprisingly happy.
She's nice and normal and she's carrying my baby. I think I was too shocked by the sudden news to really think about it. I'm going to be a daddy. I'm going to hold a baby in my arms and he or she is going to be my child. It's the most amazing thing in the world.
I'm going to give Kara all I possibly can. I want her to know that even though we aren't together, I'm going to be a real daddy
Nothing like my dad.
It's incredibly freeing.
I'm a daddy..
end privacy.
private to Carter
Dude, we have to hang out okay? I'm gonna be a dad!!! :D
end privacy.
Is everyone doing okay with the big news? |
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[Jul. 31st, 2010|08:38 pm] |
Private
So her name is Kara and she's carrying my child. I've never even had sex with a woman, unless you count awkward fumbling and groping before I was officially into guys, and yet I'm a father.
I don't know how to be a dad. My dad sucked at it. My best examples of what a dad is come from my uncle and Shiloh's fathers. Shiloh. Man, now I gotta explain to him that his boyfriend is a father. Will he still even want to be with me?
I'm going to be there for Kara, if she wants me to. If she doesn't then I won't pressure her but if she does, I'll be good to them both, I promise. I don't even really know her, but I want to keep her and the baby safe. I want to be a good father. I make enough money to sort of help financially but I really gotta blaze through the tech program for this. I hope Tristan can help me maybe get some more work.
This is beyond fucked, I want to cry. How lame to cry over a baby.
end privacy.
Private to Shiloh
I need you tonight, ok?
end privacy.
I don't know how to handle this. Cry, rant, drink, feel stupid?
I'm settling on cuddling Bailey and Shiloh like no tomorrow. I will do the right thing here. |
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[Jul. 31st, 2010|12:10 pm] |
Don't give up hope.
I know I won't, no matter what. |
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[Jul. 30th, 2010|12:11 pm] |
Private to Shiloh.
Did you see the vampire guy down there, making that offer? I think maybe you should talk to him. This vampire threatening you is scaring me to death.
/end privacy.
I think I'm doing better today. Too much to do to mope right now. Lots of appointments at work today. |
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[Jul. 27th, 2010|07:20 pm] |
private
I'm tired of arrogant vampires assuming that they have the right to our blood, bodies and lives. I'm so tired of being forced to be a content little slave. My body and the bodies of those close to me belong to us and us alone. It is not our problem that vampires need the blood to survive. Like I told that asshole doctor, there are many of us who pity the plight of the vampire and would be willing to help. I'd donate every couple of weeks of my own free will because they do need sustenance and I'm in a place of power to give it to them.
I'm tired of being imprisoned. I want to go home. I want to take Shiloh back to our little town in Nevada and have a little family. I want Shiloh's dads to be safe and not come to Shadow Falls like we both know they will. Speaking of family, I don't want to think about how my genetic material (which was also taken against my will) is probably in some lady right now, turning into a baby. A baby that is of course just another food source for the greedy vamps that take instead of ask. I'm tired of thinking about this baby, wondering if I'll ever guess which slave baby is mine.
All it takes is asking! I swear to God, I'm not saying people wouldn't rebel but any vampire who asked me to let them bite, and made sure to be careful could have it.
I'm also tired of those stupid self-proclaimed sparkler vampires that are so pro-human and yet continue to let us suffer. You guys are in the position of power! You're all just content with what this town offers you, even if it means the enslavement of thousands. As pro-human as you claim to be, I don't see you fighting so that we can go back home to our families, children, parents, people we LOVE.
I'm tired of worrying that Shiloh won't come home from work and I'm tired of worrying I'll find him bleeding to death on the street cause another vamp decided healing his wounds was a waste of time.
I'm also done worrying that everything I say will be taken as offense to them. Tired of caring.
end privacy.
Is it weird that I hate my dad, but I miss him? Even when I lived ten minutes from his house we never saw each other and I still attest to hating him, but I miss him. I also kinda want my mom right now. Stupid.
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[Jul. 26th, 2010|08:15 pm] |
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"Men are respectable only as long as they respect" - Emerson.
You know, a lot of the problems in this town would be solved with common courtesy and respect from both vampires and humans. It just makes me mad because this town is so off-balance and I don't think it would require something big and revolutionary to throw it back into balance. Just some simple respect between and among two similliar species.
I'm being an angry moody person today, if you haven't noticed. I'm just scared scared scared angry.
I want to hit something.
On a happier, less hitting things note, I'm excited that Lizzy's party thing is still on. That's nice to hear. And, it's not blazing blazing hot right now. Okay I'm grasping at positive straws. |
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[Jul. 19th, 2010|06:48 pm] |
[Private to humans]
I'm pissed off! Those weird Council vampires claimed Shiloh for the month. It freaks me out. I just...ugh I hate feeling so helpless. I love the guy I just really don't want anyone to hurt him but I can't make any noise about it because it would just make him some kind of target. I hope that things end up okay and that he gets lucky, because I know that's possible - hopefully these vampires are too old to make trouble.
I just want to hold onto him even tighter now honestly. It's so frustrating!
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[Jul. 8th, 2010|05:41 pm] |
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Life is good! |
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[Jul. 5th, 2010|12:48 pm] |
It's funny, I had an awesome fourth of July. The fireworks were really gorgeous. I don't think I've ever seen such a big show like that. It was put together nice.
Things have been really awesome at home too. Having a roommate and one I totally love is just awesome. Bailey and I really needed someone. It's weird, I complained so much about being away from my apartment but the minute I got back it was eerily quiet. I'm glad that there's someone here to be close to when I get all lonely and whiny. That's one of those little things you have to appreciate.
I was a little freaked when I heard those big explosions last night. Now I find out apparently one hit the church sign? That's...rude. I don't exactly agree with their stance on vampires, kind of find it a little creeptastic, but come on, we have to respect people's beliefs. There are some really nice people who believe in that church and I know I'd be pissed off to an extreme if my beliefs were attacked in such a way.
Okay, I haven't been religious since ... ever, but you know, anything you hold close. It hurts to see it attacked. Rude.
Anyway. That's all. |
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[Jun. 30th, 2010|10:48 am] |
SHILOH is here, living with me!!!!!!
Okay, now that I got that out of my system, I feel a lot better.
ETA:
Shiloh! You're coming with me to Riley's thing this weekend. |
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[Jun. 27th, 2010|12:19 pm] |
I...guess I'm going home today. Packing up my stuff and getting me and Bailey back where we belong. Confusing.
Is it time for peace and quiet in Shadow Falls?
Somehow, I doubt it, but hey, I'm going to be naive and enjoy it.
I want to throw a party.
Random, but I do. |
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[Jun. 20th, 2010|02:04 pm] |
Happy Fathers day, I guess.
Just another excuse to remind me that I'm probably going to be a father to some unknown child.
My dad and I never got along. He was really focused in his work and never came back from my mom's death, so I never celebrated it, ever. I used to make cards for my aunt and uncle for Father's day as a kid.
But if you do celebrate it, or you're a decent dad, congrats! |
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[Jun. 9th, 2010|05:42 pm] |
I had some really horrible nightmares last night. Like...evil vampire babies. Taking over everything.
What the hell? I think that this town is really rubbing off on me.
I have crazy anxiety. Which may be due to my dna being possibly in some woman by now!
I'm going to go get another pair of glasses this weekend.
I'm taking an animal bio lab soon.
Yes, I am writing every random fact I can think of.
It helps, shut up. |
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